Thursday, 9 May 2013

HabHeart: An Epic Imagining of a Canadiens Comeback

1. NOTE: This scenario assumes that Brian Gionta will be hanged, drawn and quartered before game time.

     Chris Neil: I hope you washed your ass tonight, Gryba. It's about to be kissed by hockey royalty. 
     Marc Methot: Hey, why are we wearing our home colours in Montreal?

     Colby Armstrong: Come. Let's finish getting eliminated already and get on with the handshaking already.

Brendan Gallagher stares down at a trading card of Brian Gionta.

     Brendan Gallagher: Stop. Habs, you have bled with Gionta; now, bleed with me. Amirite?

     ALL: Ye-ah, woot, ole (etc.)!!!

     Chris Neil: Wait, it looks like they want to fight. Gryba, would you please stop hunching over and put your white jersey on!

ALL: Gion-Ta! Gion-Ta! Gion-Ta! Gion-Ta!

(Note: At right: Alex Galchenyuk wears <3 war paint. Centre: Lars Eller has painted a ;p on his face. Left: Kaberle shows his age by painting his face after KISS drummer Peter Criss.

 (Anachronistic battle noises)


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